Wednesday, 6 May 2009

THROUGH MY GHOST (Peter Scion 2000)




After slamming the door between me and Pangolin, I was an a weird state of mind. I felt disappointed and relieved, lost and on the right track, all at the same time. Sessions for Pangolin's second album had broken down to the loud noises of personality clashes and, on my part, unhappiness with the direction Pangolin was heading.

I begun the sessions for "Through My Ghost" in the very same week I left Pangolin, using most of the songs projected for the abandoned band album. Being slightly out of touch with my muse, I decided to use some songs I had recorded or at least written earlier; in some cases dating back to 1997 and 1998. "The Farthermost Shore" for instance was originally intended for the then unreleased "Strange Inconveniences". In retrospect, I think this makes "Through My Ghost" my conceptually least cohesive album. Now, almost a decade later, it plays like a mess to my ears, almost like an ill-conceived compilation album. The songs are OK, but the album as a whole is not.

Also, the album stayed in the can for way, way, way too long. Finished in 2000, it was (for reasons I'm not sure of myself) put on hold until 2002 in some kind of constipated release schedule, making it feel passé the same day it was released. Instead of using old songs, which seemed like a good idea at the time, I should have used the time re-thinking and re-structuring the album. Instead, I was recording new material for a follow-up that never happened, trying to leave "Through My Ghost" behind me. Nevertheless, when the album got out, it was met with quite positive reviews.

The album title seems more appropriate today than ever before. I was unsure where to go musically after the traumatic last days of Pangolin. I was a bit like a ghost to myself, and the album is the sound of that ghost performing. I needed to get a grip on myself again, or as they say: get my shit back together again.

After a while I began writing new songs; a lot more sparse songs, without a lot of arrangements. Most of them was just me and my acoustic guitar. When making "Through My Ghost", I held firm to my decision not involving any other musicians. Working within the frames of a band, I experienced a social hangover. With the new, post-Ghost songs, I couldn't even stand overdubs.

Maybe "Through My Ghost" should have been scrapped altogether, and instead started working all from scratch, but it was necessary to exorcise the demons of Pangolin, to get these songs out of my system. Otherwise, this ghost would have haunted me forever.

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2 comments:

  1. Don't put it down - it's a GREAT album full of wonderful songs and lots of effects and fuzz guitar, a lost classic to me ears

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